i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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