I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
That accounts for only three of the penises
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
