yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
