I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
