she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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