If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
