The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The uberlube is also flammable
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
