SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
