fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
