What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
