just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
