well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She told me I should be a condom model.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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