Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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