that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I looked at my own cervix.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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