i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
