We need to rekindle our bromance
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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