If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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