Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is wine microwaveable?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
