your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
