Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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