Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
