i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
