you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
