He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
