its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i barfeds in our rink
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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