why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize