these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
