I must be too annoying 4 u.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
