I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
