i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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