Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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