he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am one with the molecules
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
