You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
