he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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