I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize