my being single is dangerous.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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