I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Drunk is not a location!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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