to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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