it wasn't lemon gatorade
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
