Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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