Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
