Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
