i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
