Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
