My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
