Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
