I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
