yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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