you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
