I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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