guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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