Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
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  (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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  (789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days. http://tfl.nu/hp74
  Replies (26) Good night (5624) Bad night (775)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.

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  (334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. http://tfl.nu/qfk7
  Replies (47) Good night (1004) Bad night (4372) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...

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  (317): You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang... http://tfl.nu/ct1j
  Replies (35) Good night (4747) Bad night (1898) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.

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  (541): I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/yadf
  Replies (16) Good night (7147) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

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  (509): Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint http://tfl.nu/0n30
  Replies (10) Good night (1183) Bad night (4558) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10597) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer

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  (712): Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer http://tfl.nu/7yso
  Replies (10) Good night (5365) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

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  (540): My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things. http://tfl.nu/x5j7
  Replies (3) Good night (3649) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.

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  (408): we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good. http://tfl.nu/45si
  Replies (3) Good night (2047) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  she fell through a window trying to flash someone

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  (708): she fell through a window trying to flash someone http://tfl.nu/c9dp
  Replies (12) Good night (4316) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (456): View more from

  Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

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  (456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (1631) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.

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  (509): This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck. http://tfl.nu/vrqe
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (1418)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick

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  (781): I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick http://tfl.nu/smiy
  Replies (7) Good night (1683) Bad night (317)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.

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  (308): I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll. http://tfl.nu/yzo7
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt

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