Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?