Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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