he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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